Getting close

Less than a week till I fly and 2 weeks till the start of the Tour Divide, my gear is all tested and trusted last few rides before I fly next week, so I’m off ready or not! So this is my worldly possessions, plus one change of cycle clothes for the next couple of months, if it’s not there, it’s not going (unless it’s my bike).

My life will hopefully become very simple, with my concerns being just: Ride, find food and water, sleep and try not get lost (yes it’s been known) or eaten by wild life.

So all of the above fits on my bike a Silverback Storm 3, fondly known as Magilla the Gorilla. Empty weights 13.5kg

Once my 10.5kg of gear is loaded on to Magilla, he weights in at 24 kg dry with the ability to carry 6 liters of water and a few days food. (i don’t want to do that often).

Big thanks to my to my wife Jane for letting me go ride my bike across America, without her this would not be happening.

Honestly pretty sure she is letting me go so I stop talking about the Tour Divide.

Lifes little suprises

Back in May of 2015 I’d lost all hope of my son surviving depression and I wasn’t alone, the doctors told us to plan for the worst, well he is still here we have good days and bad days but with each day things slowly improve. We muddle along but always with that shadow of dare we dare to hope, taking every day as a bonus and knowing that life is hard for him in ways we don’t understand.

Still my boy talks to me now and we have come a long way in rebuilding trust between us, I am truly thankful for having this time to heal, and hopefully we can say good by to the angry young man and welcome back my first born son.

It’s a beautiful day to cry

Perhaps a strange tag line, but its why I am in such a special location I need to think. You don’t know me and at this point in time that is just the way I need it. On a normal day this picture for me would only bring happiness but yesterday I said goodbye to my son, I knew it and he knew it, it was unspoken but the bond between father and son transcended  the words he is not dead but he hates me to the point of wanting me dead, and himself . He is not mentally well and that is very hard to take, the dog knows, everyone know but no one knows.

How do you say goodbye, when your not ready?

There’s good days and bad days we all have them and at the moment I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. My actions will upset all those I love, no matter which way I turn.

In God we trust, is hard to believe, and the words God will only give you what you are strong enough to take. Well no father should watch the self destruction of their son, and see the welling up of darkness which is their life.

I hope you like the picture, sorry for the crappy words but I needed to talk to the WWW because no one needs to know, but I love my boys and hope there will always be two, but I am losing hope.

I’m strong, I’m strong, I’m weak, I’m crying.

Crying has a cleansing effect on the mind, I wish he could cry.

Sometimes being Dad isn’t all about Happy Meals

 

Where to now

Well turning 50 sucks and all for the wrong reasons.

• Tour cancelled
• Wife working a away from home
• Son back in hospital from another overdose

But there are some good sides

• Son still alive 🙂
• Wife always pleased to see me now 🙂
• I got a very nice birth day present 🙂

We had the longest 48 hours waiting to see what damage 60 paracetamol can do, and thanks to the emergency services doing a top job not as much as my son hoped.

On a lighter note many of you know my son is in hospital and I said about collecting his car. Well life has been a bit of a blur over the last few weeks. Then you get to thinking it took me about 35- 40 minutes (i know Sunday driver now 50+) to drive up the roads from the hospital to where he made his attempt (would make a nice stage of a rally). It has dawned on us on that night from pick up to hospital it took less than 15 minutes. I thank the police for that and I wish that I had the skills to drive that road at that pace, according to son (made him smile) they enjoyed it too.  So next time you see a police car with flashing blue lights clear the way you just might need them too one day.

So here we go I guess think its time to post and then introduce my new family member (bicycle) in my next post TBC.

From Coma to Home in under a week

From coma to home in under a week, talk about a whistle stop tour of a full range of emotions. We have been very lucky no lasting damage from what he did, he is going to be supported back to University with the help from the crisis team, so he can get back with his friends to continue with the healing.
Again thank you for all of your well wishes prayers and positive thoughts

From my son:

I’d like to thank everyone who was sending prayers and positive energy to me at my most time of need, I’m hoping to be back on my feet soon,  I’m currently recovering in Temuka and will be heading back up to chch Sunday/Monday for uni.

Son in a Coma

Would just like to ask you to spare few minutes of your time to think or pray for our son Nick who is in currently in a  coma. He is in hospital from an attempted suicide from an overdose. It looks like he will recover but has not woken yet. The New Zealand police and medical staff have been fantastic.
Depression sucks

Moving

Hi all I am moving to a new location feel free to come along 

You will now find me at

goingslowly.org

 

Turning 50 but not yet

Nearly 2 years ago the year of Jane started and we celebrated her half century by doing lots of things that she would like, so being the younger half of our relationship I can’t hide from this fate forever, indeed so keen to turn 50 I have started practicing already.

1. Testing to see if I could be a grumpy old man
   • Early tests have proved very successful I have been told, however I didn’t  think I had started so a little confused!
2. Memory testing and improvement
   • Jane says I have already failed see point 1.

Things started today though with training starting for the 2015 Auckland marathon, so I have one year. So where’s the fun in this well I challenged my Sons to the event opportunity of a lifetime. Its our treat to them so no cost for them, but what’s in it for them? Well for every minute they beat me by they get one dollar. However if I beat them they have to endure my next half century + of never ending leg pulling of how an Old old man thrashed them 🙂 I don’t think they have a chance of getting as much a $1 but they have very different ideas and are out to beat me soundly so we should have a lot of laughs in the process, and how hard can it be for me to drop 2 or 3 minutes a km/mile to win 🙂

So more craziness for 2015 to follow for the year of Richard and 25 years of being married

Normal life returns

Jane returned from Auckland and all went well for her. Sadly the weekend has flown and she returned to work this morning 😦 .

However we had a good weekend with lots being done in the garden, never as much as was needed but it rarely is, we brought 2 Clematis plants from the local garden centre and  I promptly took cuttings from both as I caught one and broke a little off and made into a cutting but I had intended to take cuttings to increase the number of plants we have. When we brought our home some years ago it was on a grass paddock with no planting whatsoever, I soon realised the cost of buying plants/shrubs and learnt to take cuttings where appropriate.

Clematis montana rubens

So whats on the table from the fresh garden?

Asparagus, Lettuce, mesclun, spinach, celery,Bok choy, Silverbeet, Kohlrabi, beetroot, Spring onions and a couple of edible flowers and the last of the winter brassicas about to be composted.

Herbs, chives, thyme, rosemary, coriander, parsley, oregano, fennel, bay, tarragon bee balm, borage and more I forgot

Rhubarb And Walnuts

I know its a herb but the Lemon Balm so herbal tea is back 🙂 Oh GRASS its growing

So with the the honey, chickens, eggs, ham/pork, lamb, the canning we did and the food in the freezer left from last years harvest we eat from the garden most days and often completely which we love

First flowers spotted on the Bloody butcher tomato plants so quietly pleased with where we are with 40 days of spring still left, but still panicking a little have I done enough against the time of the season.

The Struggle with the the local climate where we are in NZ is that we can have a very late frost or hail storm right at the end of spring which if you go to early you can lose everything that is tender, been there got that Tee-shirt so the greenhouses become a bit of a nightmare at the end of spring as there is a constant battle for space and it’s normal for our conversations at this time of year to turn to I want/need another greenhouse ( I already have two 5m x2.5m) But a 4m x 12m tunnel would be lovely, however owning a house that is about 200 years old that had never been modernised has its financial implications 🙂 So the great greenhouse debate lingers on.

Life gets Busy

This time of year is manic and at times a little overwhelming plans all scrapped and new ones made.

7 irrigation systems  installed or repaired, reworking of the 14 veg beds they are 6m x 6m (20 foot sqr) each and trying to keep up with the 150 tomatoes we have planted is fun.  Oh run a half marathon without training (not to be advised at 49) but run with my youngest son which was very cool. Chickens have decided its the time of year that they need to start laying and lots of eggs all of a sudden.  Hillbilly hot tub still in bits as Jane just has had an operation so little point setting it up, 6 weeks R & R the back to work for her and straight up to the university in Auckland funny after 6 weeks at home the house seems empty.

Lost a couple of hives this winter so am in the process of creating 2 new ones and breeding new queens to replace the old ones  ( only helping nature along the bees will do the procreation).

This is our first year we have proper Asparagus from an established bed its taken 5 plus years as it has been move a couple of times as the chickens kept digging it up so everytime they do that its like time to start again.

Feel lots more has happen but time to get on with some work garden is calling.

 

Jon running the Marathon me running the half

Our house plaque that a friend made for us some years back

 

Garden and green houses